Reduce stress and let peace reign again with the inside word from our superstar team of wedding planners.
It’s 3am and the tears are close. You both have to work in the morning, but the conversation cannot be avoided any longer. The pressure is on, the time for wedding planning is literally now, but you can’t seem to decide on a final location, let alone the hundreds of other tasks that need taking care of. Your families are making noises about the delay, the anxiety is building as each week passes, but you simply can’t agree and it’s starting to hurt your relationship!
If this sounds familiar you should know you’re not the only one going through it and that there’s help on hand! Read on to discover inside tips on how our wedding planners make the process so easy, and shoot us a message if you need some one-on-one time.
You’re not overreacting! Getting married is a really big deal.
Before we go any further you need to know that what you’re feeling is entirely normal. The stressors involved in moving house, having children and changing jobs are commonly acknowledged, but it's not often mentioned that planning a wedding is a bigger job than you EVER could have imagined. We’re also betting no one told you that it could become an unnecessary cause of horrible tension and anxiety in your otherwise happy relationship?
Let’s face it; despite the world being an entirely different place than it was for your parents, getting married is still a really big deal. It’s huge on every level, emotionally, spiritually, financially and even physically. Keeping this in mind you can go ahead now and forgive yourselves for stressing out. It’s no wonder tensions are running high. But, you have each other, which means there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, and to help you relax in the meantime, we’ve put together a list of inside tips and gems from our team of incredible wedding planners.
Ten things you can do NOW to plan a better wedding.
Before you shake your head you should know this isn’t just another ‘to do’ list, you’ve likely had enough of lists by this point! It’s simply the essential things we’ve learned over the years after creating the big day for thousands of couples. Read on below and then get in touch with us here if you’re feeling overwhelmed at any time. You don’t have to do it alone.
1. Get your paperwork and communication systems in place
Whether you have a wedding binder full of magazine clippings or a Pinterest board heaving with ideas, it’s important you’re able to communicate your wants and needs AND remember where everything is stored. The goal is instant access to that picture, that email or that budget figure you had in mind, so get your digital systems sorted. Try setting up unique folders in your email provider or desktop, save website bookmarks in your computer, or sign up for one of the many free wedding planning tools online. Couples who use Botanica Weddings have access to Poppy, our personalised, online wedding planning system that provides 24 hour access, just in case an essential detail pops into your mind at 5am!
2. Make sure your financial planning reflects your values
Get really clear on what’s most important to you both about your wedding day and allocate your finances accordingly. Is it long lasting tokens like the photographs and jewelry that matter? Or would you rather spend money on an incredible dress? Some couples believe the location is most important and choose destination weddings; others want to ensure there’s world-class food and drinks on the day. Think about where your values lie and flow the funds accordingly.
3. Consider the timelines for both you and your guests
Staying aware of your wedding timeline is key. Think about what’s happening both on the day, and in the lead up to the event for both you and your guests. This will help you to resolve any scheduling hiccups before they happen. Note down the dates you must have aspects of your wedding sorted and confirmed. At Botanica, our wedding planning team take care of all these timeline issues for our couples, but if you’re doing it yourself it’s important to be on the ball. Some bookings need be made many months in advance, while others can be left closer to the time. Our top tip: Whatever you do, make sure your people-related services are locked in early.
4. Strategically choose your wedding party
Your wedding day is the start of a new stage of life together and your wedding party should be present to support you on both this day and in the long term. So have a think about the personalities of those you choose to surround yourselves with. The people who look amazing in photographs may not be the most calm or collected, just as the family members you’re expected to chose may be more stressors than supporters. Think carefully about the aspects that each of those people will bring to you before, during and after the wedding - then choose them wisely.
5. Do your research now to avoid disappointment later
This can be the most tiresome part of being your own wedding planner but don’t let it get away on you. Aim for three to six service comparisons between vendors before you choose them. This includes the flowers, the patisserie, the photographer and all the other people you’ll employ. It’s important to look at the pros and cons between different services and check out their reviews. Our wedding planners only use proven vendors we trust, so listen to the advice of your expert planner or other couples. If you take the time now to make sure you’re getting the quality you deserve, it’s more likely to be delivered.
6. Have the tough talks about money early
If you have those honest - and sometimes awkward - discussions about money before they need to happen, your wedding planning process will be so much smoother. Other than the total allocated budget it’s important to ensure cash flow is not an issue along the timeline. Remember, you will most likely need to pay vendors and make deposits at different times during the process. Also, ensure your expectations on jewelry costs are similar and don’t fall into the trap of hiding unexpected costs from each other. Weddings can be expensive but that sinking feeling can be avoided if you work together as the team you are.
7. Don’t be scared to do something different
You may feel a lot of pressure to conform to the expectations of your family and friends, but trying something different could make your day even more perfect. Whether it’s wearing a non-traditional dress, choosing a destination wedding or even getting matching tattoos as a substitute to rings. It’s important to make your wedding absolutely yours. So if you’ve got a funny idea you’ve been scared to bring up, now’s the time to say it. Personalize your wedding, choose to create a day that makes you happy, instead of the wedding that someone else has in mind.
8. Don’t be squeamish with family communication
For many, planning a wedding brings up anxiety about pleasing everyone. But the truth is, there will always be people who aren’t happy. Keep this in mind and go easy with those high expectations. The painstaking process of making the best decisions for you (and your partner) can be eased by keeping things light and polite with others. Your family and friends will no doubt have opinions, but it’s ok if you disagree. Saying the hard things is easier than you think! Simply acknowledge the value of their suggestions and then let them know you’ve both decided to go with another option.
9. Be a ‘Plan B’ type of couple
The world is essentially outside of your control, which means that sometimes things won’t go exactly as you need or want them to. Our wedding planners know this and ensure they have backup plans for everything. For you this means thinking about what will happen should the weather or your caterer do something unexpected. Luckily, being a Plan B couple is simple. When you’re making menu and venue decisions just make sure you choose a preferred option AND a next best choice option. That way you’re already prepared for change if it needs to happen.
10. Be precise with your task management
There are over 200 individual tasks that need to be completed for every wedding. This includes booking venues, organizing furniture, choosing colors; designing invitations and sending out ‘save the date’ forms. Then there are the flowers, the food, and the seat placing to consider AND the list goes on. All of these things can be completely overwhelming to a busy couple, but wedding planners have the knowledge, the expertise, the experience and most importantly, the relationships with vendors already in place. So if you’ve got the resources we highly recommend taking advice from an expert to ensure that your relationship doesn’t get ruined by the task of planning your wedding day.
So what now? Back to the ‘To Do’ list?
Yes, we won’t lie, you will need a ‘To Do’ list and each of the tasks and decisions to be made for your wedding are likely to have feelings attached. After all, this is the day when you and your person - your number one person - are telling the world that you choose each other.
Luckily, at Botanica we know a lot about planning weddings. We also know that the planning you do now will allow you relax and enjoy your first day as a married couple. This process is supposed to be enjoyable, so if you’re not having the time of your life moonlighting as a wedding planner, give us a shout and we’ll take the hard work off your shoulders.